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Final Election Results - 5 Nov. 2008
An estimated 215% of local registered and unregistered voters swarmed the polls here in Rabbit Hash, Kentucky for the 2008 Mayoral election.
A highly contested race from the beginning, this race has not let up since it began on Old Timers' Day, 2008. Ten dogs, one cat, one opossum, one jackass, and one human being vied for the ultimate position of political power in this small Ohio River community in Boone County, Kentucky.
It was a dog-eat-dog race. Only this morning, the front runner was Travis the cat, holding a modest lead over two canine contenders. Travis showed a steady popularity the entire day, gaining the majority of the popular vote cast during the day.
After the presidential polls closed at 6:00 PM EST, the focus and the voters and the money relocated to Election Central in the Rabbit Hash barn. Food, fellowship, and good old American politics then prevailed for the next hour or so......and boy-oh-boy did things get heated. Candidates were chasing each other around the barn while the humans on the other end of the leashes were cutting deals and lobbying the public. Bark-The-Vote was the order of the day as the characteristic idiosyncrasies of the Darwinian mix prevailed. Growls, yelps, nips and bites were rampant amongst the candidates. The human conceded early on. Some of the canines followed suit. It was a political battle unrivaled in American political history.
In the waning moments of the months-long ordeal, the great common denominator reared its ugly head and responded to the "last call.' Money flew like fur and the hair was rising the length of each and every spine. Even the dogs knew something was going on as they pulled on their leashes in an attempt to control their handlers.
The final tally was reported:
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Lucy Lou
NEW MAYOR OF RABBIT HASH
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Owner: Bobbi Kayser
Critter: Dog - Border Collie
 Campaign Propaganda
 MySpace Page
Lucy Lou is a red & white border collie who has lived her whole life in Rabbit Hash. She is in town every day and has appointed herself the town tour guide, meeting visitors and making sure they see all the sights. She's running on the non-partisan canine ticket and supports feline and canine presence in the General Store. Lucy Lou promises to lend her support to all fund rainsing events and activities. She accredits her aspiration to Rabbit Hash's esteemed former mayor, Junior Cochran, stating that he was her hero. Lucy Lou's goal is to be a big enough dog to fill his paws! |
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Toby
1st Runner-up
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Owner: Chris Lustenberg
Critter: Dog - Springer Spaniel
Toby won't pussyfoot around. He's got a leg up on the competition. |
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Travis
2nd Runner-up
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Owner: Terrie Markesberry
Critter: Cat
Campaign Propaganda
Campaign Propaganda 2
Travis chose Rabbit Hash and you should choose this cat to be the new Mayor of
Rabbit Hash. He is the ONLY candidate that
actually resides in Rabbit Hash. This gives Travis an advantage because he sees
the needs of the town and is always there to greet and meet the needs of
the people. He is a hard working cat and he is non-discriminating, but most
important he is not intimidated by the other candidates. He is not afraid to
stand alone or to be the Top Cat in the Top
Hat
Vote now, vote often, vote for
change, vote Travis!!
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Higgins
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Owner:
Donald E. Clare
Critter: Miniature Donkey
Campaign Propaganda
Higgins ran a very close race for mayor four years ago when Junior eked out an 11th hour bolus of money (I mean, votes) to win. Some of Higgins'votes turned out to be in Australian money and was discounted by the election officials because the guidelines clearly stated that ballots could only be in U.S. currency. I didn't have the heart to tell Higgins that he didn't win because of this ridiculous ruling by the election board and the unfortunate oversite by all his kangaroo friends and constituents, so I told him that HE was elected mayor of Rabbit Hash. That is why he does not stay within his fenced area and wanders the neighborhood at will. He assumes that he is merely the incumbent in this election....and he expects to be re-elected. So, let's get with it...let's see those dollars talk. You're going to end up with a jackass anyway, so you might as well vote for one. By the way....just because Higgins is a donkey doesn't mean he is a Democrat.
Higgins is running as a Republican because he wants a 'grand old party' when he claims victory. I am Higgins, and I approve this message (well, actually, I am Higgins' care taker, but I still approve this message.) |
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Macy
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Owner: Joe & Karrie Messina
Critter: Dog - Ibizan Hound
Campaign Propaganda
Campaign Propaganda 2
Website Link | Blog Link | StoreLink
Macy is a 1 year old Ibizan Hound, a sight hound whose quarry is rabbits and butterflies. This agile hunter and raw diet reformer lives outside the beltway on an abandoned stretch of Old Rabbit Hash Road..
Gender: Biotch
Born: 10/20/2007
AKA: "Macy McGoo", "Googs", "Googie", "G-nat", "Couch Monkey", "Not now Cato"
Residence: Old Rabbit Hash Road overlooking Gunpowder Creek
Education: Queen City Puppy Kindergarten -Spring 2008 Graduate
Pals: Sadie, Rio (Ibizan Hound), Lucky (Beagle), Squeaky (Feline), Fatty (Feline)
Politics: Independent
Favorite Food: Raw Diet (drumsticks)
Favorite Sport: Lure coursing
Favorite Show: Groomer Has It |
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Isabella Pearl
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Owner:
Teri Heist
Critter: Dog - Boxer/Laborador mix
Campaign Propaganda
Isabella "Izzie" Pearl is a yougin" having just recently observed the passing of her first year. Though she sports quite the rambunctious side, she has managed to retain her honor as a lovely porch sittin', tea sippin' Southern belle. (In the spirit of full disclosure, however, she was recently implicated in a scandalous incident involving barn prowling and general lawlessness. She was completely exonerated due to a remarkable case of mistaken identity.) With her youth and ladylike viewpoint, she could be the candidate of "Change", "Hope" or even "Thanks but no Thanks". But ultimately what she can commit to is "Izzie Pearl - She Promises Nothing". |
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Pike
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Owner: Gary Hinds & Amy Engelman
Critter: Dog - Chihuahua mix
Campaign Propaganda
Pike is liberally conservative, but he is tired of the dog and pony show of politics. Although rumors have dogged him about the ladies, he remains neutered on the issue because he's been thoroughly vetted. He won't spend his time chasing tail... anymore... Although he is house trained, the senate will feel the sting of his bark. |
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Rembrandt
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Owner: Bob Schrage
Critter: Dog - St. Bernard Mix
Campaign Propaganda
MySpace Page
Rembrandt is a Saint Bernard Mix and a life long resident of Rabbit Hash. Originally discovered at the Boone County Animal Shelter, Rembrandt has brought himself up from these humble beginnings to be a respected member of the community. For most of his eight years he has greated visitors in town. Endorsed by both Obama and McCanine, he pledges to continue to help Rabbit Hash and end the unfair sales tax on pet foods. |
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Noggin
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Owner: Nancy Booker & Mike Haskins
Critter: Dog - Clumber Spaniel
Noggin--The Thinking Man's Mayor. Born in Bloomington, IN in October of 2000. Registered name: Clussexx Santa's Nog'n Grog. He is related to the Westminster Champion Clumber Spaniel of 1996. Noggin holds dual citizenship in Rabbit Hash and Florence. He is a graduate of Waggin'
Tails--not at the top of his class, but still ahead of Bush. Noggin never met a beer, steak or bacon that he didn't like! He is always ready to voice his opinion and once he makes up his mind it can't be swayed, unless you have the food items listed above! A VOTE FOR NOGGIN IS A VOTE, FOR WELL, NOGGIN!
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Molly C. Urso
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Owner: DJ Urso
Critter: Dog - Boxer
Campaign Propaganda
Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee! VOTE FOR MOLLY.
Molly is a White Boxer, born 4/4/07. She is our pretty little girl who loves to travel. Molly is outgoing and she will be happily, wiggling to greet you. Molly has friends from Sea to Shining Sea and her family name goes as far back as "The Godfather". Molly is currently the mascot for TEAM PAPAW on the "Walk to D'Feat ALS". Making her well suited for Fundraising events.
Molly's goals: Support the Military."GO ARMY", Keep Deer and critters out of gardens, Continue a neighborhood watch and "Take a BITE out of Crime!"
BET ON THE BOXER! |
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Peggy Lee
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Owner: Chris Ursillo
Critter: Dog - Poodle
Peggy Lee is a three legged poodle that hops like a rabbit when she walks.
She is the best dog in the whole world and loves taking the ride down to the general store. Just yesterday she told me she wanted to run for mayor, so here we go! |
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Cletus
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Owner:
Denise Michael
Critter: Dog - Bull Mastiff
Campaign Propaganda
Cletus is a two year old Bull Mastiff. Cletus resides in Rabbit Hash and loves to play with his basketball. |
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Manson Mayer
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Owner: Michael McKeever
Critter: Dog - Border Collie Mix
Campaign Propaganda
Manson is a 7 year old Border Collie mix. He has a sweet disposition around all people and other dogs. He is rather quick so feel that the 41017 address is within the precinct boundaries in his case. He visits the general store several times a year and would make a fine ambassador for Rabbit Hash.
His best buddy Lucy the Corgi would make a fine Vice Mayor if the position is open.
They do not live together but would be willing to share the same office space if elected.
Manson is named after Marilyn Manson since they both share the same ocular peculiarities. |
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Paulette
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Alex (Human)
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Ruby
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End of Candidates
This reflects 100% of all precincts in Rabbit Hash. The results have been confirmed and are official. Rabbit Hash Historical Society |
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