Hey there! This here is Herb, from down to Rabbit Hash. You know, livin’ down here on this river my whole life has surely been a God sent blessing fer me. They ain’t nothin’ better as fer as I’m consarned. I’ve fed myself from her; I’ve drunk from her; I’ve took baths in her; I’ve swum her dang near from beginning to end; I’ve lived on her; slept on her; dang near got kilt on her more’n once. She’s brought me wonderful treasures during her famous outrages over the years. Like lumber, john boats, whiskey, fishing lures, shoes…just about everything a man could need. I even got a five-holed bowlin’ ball outa her once, and that ain’t no lie. Found some poor fella’s artificial leg once, too. Still had a sock and a shoe on it. That was back in ’97.
Well, anyways, we had real big plans fer that there floating restaurant to settle down here in to Rabbit Hash during that latest flood, week er so ago. I had a whole bunch of men and boats just ready to snag her from up there to Lochry’s Island and to harness her right on into the bank there in Rabbit Hash proper. Had it all figgered down to the next day’s breftast menu…eggs Clementine with catfish sooshy over French toast, served with hot biskits with cold fish gravy. Umm, umm!
But, no! That danged bridge had to git in it’s way and snag it up there long enuf fer them firemens to come tie it off. Now why couldn’t they jest stick to puttin’ fires out and leave the river rescuing and salvage work to us experts. Lord, they could a got drownded or worse. They never had any experience at stuff like that there. Course, I heered tell they was some perty wimmin aboard when she cut loose, so ya caint really blame them younguns fer tryin’ to impress them scared ladies with their heroics. But, dad gum it….they coulda at least just rescued the poor damsals into life boats, and let the dang thing git on down the river like it intended, cause we really got our hopes up ‘bout having us a floating eatery down here to Rabbit Hash. And now I hear tell the Covs got their public offishuls a-tryin to wine and dine that there Ruby fella inta puttin’ his place up river there under the singin’ bridge where that other floating Stowbarts steamboat resteraunt used to be, afore she started taking on water and started listing. Poor thing never even made it to where they was a towin’her. Least now we know this other place will at least float! And that’s the most important thing when yer a talking about a place right on the water. Why it’s jest as important as having a good foundation to hold up a building on dry land!
I’m thinking that there place’ll look real good at the old Covington Landing spot. Plus, it surely was a good spot fer catching them little bass and carp. Sure hope that Mr. Ruby will buy them fish we catch from us like that first feller done. His customers never once complained. Always good eatin’ at the Covington Landing! And, at least we still got The Scalded Hog and Elk Creek Vineyards Winery here in Rabbit Hash, so I ain’t ever planning on goin’ hungery ‘er thirsty. Shore is a better use of yer taxpayers’ money to dock a good eatin’ place on yer river bank where ya can git some good meat and wine than it is to use it to build a playground fer grown men to run around and whine about their sore meat!